I am happy, oh so happy.
I seriously have not felt this good in a really long time.
I think a lot of my happiness comes from spending 40ish hours at the church this week between youth group, Awana, preparing for the rummage sale, and actually working the rummage sale. I love my people there and it always turns a bad day good. It is wonderful to love and be loved.
I have also spent hours and hours in prayer and reading God’s word in preparation for my talk with the HS girls. I thought it would be hard to do this but it felt so freeing! It’s real about my struggle but it also has a positive spin on all the things God has blessed me with from this disorder. Anorexia sucks, it really does. I am already seeing the many ways that my life is for the better after having this illness, however. I know I wouldn’t be a youth leader now. I wouldn’t be as close to God as I am again. I don’t know what my life would be like without having suffered. I wholeheartedly believe that He is using me and my story for His glory. It was not easy to go through at all but I am glad I did. It’s weird and wonderful all at the same time. Overall I am super excited to tell my story next week. I feel so good about it and I know these girls will be receptive as well.
Another reason for happiness today is I reconnected with miss Dani! She commented on my instagram post about telling the girls, so I decided to reach out to her via text. I am so glad I did. We talked for a long time and shared wisdom of God’s love and plan for both of our lives. It was just like old times again. I want to continue talking with her. I have no doubt that we can become closer again.
I was slightly disappointed today because youth group was cancelled (although I was exhausted and mentally wiped from the abuse seminar) but then Rick texted and said our HS lock in will be this Friday. I am super excited for this because I think it’ll be a great time to grow closer and get to know the girls before I have the serious talk with them. It will be a night of fun of course too!
I am not letting anything get in the way of my happiness this week. I have class all day tomorrow which will be tiring but manageable. Tuesday is therapy with Jenny and I am feeling much more positive about it than last week. I also will show her my outline for the talk with my girls and go over that. My chem lecture after it will be boring but not too bad. Wednesday is another long day, but it will be great because A) Christian fellowship club (Rick is coming this week!) and B) Wednesday night Awana at the church. Thursday is nothing other than resting probably and Friday is the lock in. Then Saturday I’ll sleep and Sunday is church and the girl’s outing/telling them. Also hoping to meet with Rick/Kim before then to chat about it. Overall it’s a busy week but in a good way. Busy helps me stay away from Ed and being with church kids/people is never a bad thing.
I am feeling good about this week, good about recovery, and good about myself. Overflowing with positivity is a new thing but oh so welcomed.