Yesterday in therapy we talked a lot about what it looks like when I’m doing good and bad. We came to the conclusion that I do my best when I have the most support. This is very true. When I feel alone I don’t even bother trying to fight Ed.
Because my support at home is usually lacking, Jenny suggested I go to a support group. I had heard about this one before, but I didn’t realize that the place also has IOP and is well known for EDs. Th support group is held the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month at FV, which is a 45 minute drive. It’s open to people with EDs or disordered eating and also family/friends/supporters.
I have already come up with quite a few reasons (excuses?) why I shouldn’t go:
- Karen runs it and she knows me from FV
- It’s a lot to ask of my parents
- It’s another thing in my busy life
- I might be the hugest one there
- I have gained too much weight to be sick
- I would be a fraud because I’m not that sick
- People from FV may be there and they’ll see how huge I am
- My parents will say no and get mad if I ask
- I’ll have to go in alone if I do go
- Going back to FV will bring so many emotions
And reasons I should go:
- It would give me dded support
- Karen is very nice
- It could be useful next year as well when I go to college in GR
I honestly don’t know whether I will go soon or ever. I kind of half mentioned it to my dad yesterday and he didn’t really say no or yes or have any opinion. I suppose that isn’t terrible but not great either. I didn’t really say I was interested either because I’m just not sure. I loved the support I got from other ED patients at FV and I so miss that, but I don’t know if I can go back.