In around 25 hours, I officially turn 19. That fact alone is pretty remarkable with everything that’s happened this past year.

18 has been the hardest year of my life. I fought (and finally beat!) self harm (another post coming on that in the near future). I had major stress coming from my senior year of high school/second year of early college. I felt alone a lot of the time. My relationship with my parents and brother suffered a ton of damage. I lost some friends from isolating. My depression and anxiety sky-rocketed. I sunk into my eating disorder. At times, anorexia’s grip was so strong that I felt I wouldn’t even make it to 19. In fact, I didn’t want to make it to 19 for a good majority of the time.

Even with all of these things, 18 wasn’t all bad. I met and became friends with Livvy and Lily. I don’t know what I would ever do without them. We officially switched to the best church ever full-time. I was single the entire time which allowed me to take time for me. I am finally opening up to others again. I graduated from high school with a gold cord like I always wanted. I met some amazing people in my Christian fellowship club at college. I’ve applied to transfer colleges to begin my future. I’ve grown very close to so many people at our church. I’ve found the best support I could ask for in Kim. I switched to a great therapist and psychiatrist that work for me. I am working towards loving myself again. My time at Forest View changed me forever. I became a youth leader. My faith in God has grown tremendously. It’s incredibly hard, but I am slowly saving myself from this disorder and recovering.

18 was a year of hardship, struggle, and challenge but also growth, resiliency, and recovery. I have so many hopes for 19. I know it will be even better.