Thank God for therapy. I needed it today so badly. Okay I actually needed it Monday, when I was originally scheduled, but then I had to wait three days. Three very long very stressful days. But hey I made it and holy shit did Sheri say exactly what I needed to hear. And now, three takeaways from today’s session:
- I need to get my butt back on track. I’m not necessarily doing badly, more just getting super lazy. I think this also has to do with my depression currently. The past week or so I didn’t even track my meal plan or write anything down for it, haven’t really used skills when I need them, skip out on yoga, let myself sit and wallow, and neglect self-care. Sheri helped me realize that although none of these things are huge problems at the moment, they can and will snowball if I don’t stop. I don’t want that. I have worked so damn hard for my recovery and I am NOT giving it up so easily. Laziness will not lead me to relapse.
- I have some pretty significant decisions to make and opportunities to put myself first in said situations. There are some things going on in my life (surprise, right?). These things are harming me, stressing me out, and causing me to give up some energy I really need to spend on getting better, school, etc. I know deep down what I need and Sheri and I spoke about it. I’ll pull that trigger, hopefully sooner rather than late but we’ll see. Being assertive is tough!
- I am going to learn so much from going through and processing my autobiography/wall work. We started my autobiography today and already I am loving it. I haven’t read or even looked at it since late November. I’m really hoping this will be a great learning tool for her and I. I also want to work through some issues that pushed me towards my ED, depression, anxiety, self harm, etc.