Hopefully you can sense the sarcasm in that title because my God has he been progressively worse this year v. last. I’ll give a quick rundown of what I’m talking about before I share on yesterday’s appointment.

In October he oh so kindly told me my BMI, which was significantly higher than the last time I had seen him in the spring. That’s bad enough in itself, but then he added on that I could lose 5-10 pounds. I see now that this was definitely a catalyst in my relapse; not the main cause, but still…

Since then:

• was basically convinced I had OCD when I was talking about using DBT skills (???) and wouldn’t believe me at first that I have never been anywhere close to diagnosed
• asked why I am not eating and if it’s *just* that I’ve decided I’m too fat
• insisted on upping my one medication even though my blood showed I have above therapeutic levels (which after that point doesn’t have increased effects)
• in general a complete lack of understanding of EDs and how to approach them in an appropriate way

I went into the appointment yesterday automatically assuming I would get some sort of ill-advised advice or comments. I was right, but didn’t expect the absolute disregard for my struggles. At first it was just remarks on my sleeping patterns (1-3 am and wake at 7:30-8:30). His advice: go to bed earlier. I then talked about the major lack of motivation I’ve had. We are trying a new medication to possibly replace another one. That I am fine with. He made more comments about me choosing not to eat and how that isn’t helping blah, blah. The last part, however, is the worst advice I have ever heard from a medical professional regarding my eating disorder, right up there with my old therapist asking for diet tips.

His suggestion for being tired all of the time: give me either Ritalin or Adderall. What the hell?!!? Does he not realize that one of the main side effects is weight loss? Does he not know I am diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, a disorder that already has a huge focus on weight and thinness? In addition, it is highly addictive/causes dependency/can easily be abused. I have had a history of addictive type behaviors (eg SH). I really don’t need another opportunity for that to happen. I can see this causing so many issues. If I won’t be addicted from the actual effects of amphetamines, I would probably be hooked on the weight loss it causes. On a less serious note, it can affect my heart as well.

I left in disbelief and very distraught over the entire appointment yesterday. I just don’t think I can handle having a doctor who doesn’t get this anymore. Hell, I would almost settle for Dr. VH. Almost. I think it’s time to consider switching to a different doctor. I hate doing it. I hate change, but maybe this is worth it? I’ll definitely be talking to my mom, support people, and treatment team about this. Maybe one of them can talk to him for me, ha.

Has anyone experienced something like this? Advice? Am I overreacting?