It’s been a while.
I don’t honestly know what’s all been getting in the way of blogging. I’m busy and tired and there’s school, etc, but it’s not like I have never experienced any of this before. I think I can come up with one main barrier: perfectionism.
This isn’t new for me at all, yet it feels different now for whatever reason. I feel like I have a million and one things to catch up on and that I am a “bad” blogger if I don’t write about xyz first (in a timely fashion.) I’ve made promises before to talk about my treatment last summer, for example, and I continue to push it aside. I have plenty of negative/self-defeating thoughts swirling around about this. My perceived failure as a blogger is certainly feeding into that.
I love blogging and it hurts not being able to do so. I wish there was a way to take away the anxiety and obsession with writing. I think if I actually allowed myself to write in the moment without the perfectionist critic I might not just create posts but enjoy doing it.
I am ready to face my road blocks. I’m not going to promise anything at all in regards to a timeline or types of posts. That just opens up the door for more self-criticism. Instead, I will limit my editing to a minimum and only write about what I need. Here’s to being here more often!