I’ve been thinking a lot about how my blog started and what it’s become today. I first began writing over 3 years ago, just after I finished my first treatment experience – partial hospitalization at FV. Last night I ended up diving in and reread all of my posts from 2014. It brought up basically every feeling: pride for how much I was fighting at the time, longing for some relationships that were integral in my life back then, disbelief over the similarities and differences of where I am currently. I decided I want to share some of my favorites from that year in this post.

• My choice
  • This was written right after I finished treatment and I talk about realizing that recovery is in my hands
• One month
  • a reflection on my treatment experience and how it impacted me
• Dear Ed,
  • two letters to Ed – one from PHP and the other my first assignment from my new therapist
• I am a youth leader and I have an eating disorder
  • an overview of telling the youth pastor about my eating disorder. Side note: I completely miss being a youth leader
• What will you gain when you lose?
  • I believe my first post where I aim to debunk myths about eating disorders/diet culture/etc
• Recovery milestones
  • some positive steps I made at the time (also I use the word jank 4 times in one paragraph haha)
• A prayer for my youth girls
  • this was written specifically for my sweet girls, but I feel it can apply to any girl
• On recovery
  • talking about how I feel about recovery not being this linear thing where it continues to grow easier each day
• December 2nd
  • this is a day I’m really proud of – 1 year self harm free and the day I signed a divorce from Ed
• Refeeding…
  • in Fall 2014 I decided it would be a great time to start eating better again on my own, which led to me experiencing refeeding syndrome
• We survived
  • an end of the year post encouraging everyone who has battled mental illness(es)
• The happiest place on Earth with an unwelcomed guest
  • my experience at Disney World in summer 2014, in the worst depths of my ED
• 2015.
  • an honest recollection on my thoughts about making it to 2015

I definitely want to continue revisiting old posts on my own. I think it might be cool to have something similar to this for different time periods. Would anyone be interested in reading them?