I took care of myself today.

*written Monday, but didn’t finish/had a billion things going on

It has been forever, or so it feels. I’ve missed blogging so much. I planned to come back to it a thousand times, but now is that time. I will explain everything that’s happened in another post soon.

Today is World Mental Health Day. Whether you struggle with a mental illness or have a good handle on everything, self care and awareness is necessary. Today I have practiced many forms of self care and I can clearly tell a difference. On to what I’ve accomplished today:

  • destressed after a rough, long lab by taking a nap
  • had lots of yummy fruits
  • had all 3 meals and a few snacks
  • ate dinner after group because I woke from my nap with too little time to have it otherwise
  • watched some Youtube and Netflix (currently on a Private Practice kick!)
  • attended ED support group
  • shared in ED group (I was voluntold, but still)
  • used distraction to quiet maladaptive thoughts and behaviors
  • ¬†gave myself grace

Today would have been much more sour had I not taken the time to care for my mind and body. These small actions, when combined together, have lifted me up to more growth. It was a really great day, the best in a while when it comes to self care. I yearn for this to be a norm and not happen once a week, month, etc.

Self care

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This is the first time I've done this outside of therapy with Jenny pulling teeth... It actually IS helping.

I don’t really have many thoughts tonight. It’s been a rough day. Eating was an uphill battle. I don’t have supervision.

Normally this is a huge opportunity for Ed to force me to overexercise. Last week this time I certainly would be right now.

Today, however, is much different than last week. I made a commitment, not just an “I’ll try harder” or a halfhearted “I am going to recover,” but a signed decree for divorce. This is hard core recovery, not just baby steps or plateauing or anything like I’ve done before. I am truly committed to pushing myself as hard as I can every single day. I know I’ll have slip ups but I am not going to sit around and let them happen. I am not letting Ed take me down without a fight.

So, back to tonight. I am doing self care. I am going to relax and watch TV and try to stop any advances Ed tries to make. I am not body checking or weighing myself or going on that treadmill. I am not going to wallow. I am not going to grieve my old body. I am embracing the girl I’m becoming, not the lifeless slave to Ed and Satan I used to be.